Let’s jump to the chase: I don’t think I have ever had a “sense of abundance.”
Well sure, some of you might have known me long enough to remember when I had an abundance of bad for me boys in my life. And there may have been times when I had an abundance of bad taste, or made an abundance of bad decisions, but I don’t really think that is the type of abundance I am supposed to be reclaiming (at least I hope not! Shiz, that would suck, I have worked so hard to get out of that space.)
I believe this is a positive flavor of abundance I am supposed to be enjoying, reclaiming, staking out for myself. An abundance of free time, of love, of attention, of…OK, I’ll go a head and say it – money.
I think the main thing I learned this week, in thinking about abundance, is that I equate money with abundance. And I sure ain’t had an abundance of that. But as I thought about it futher I realized that none of my peers growing up really did either. (If I grew up with some bonafide blue bloods and didn’t realize it – email me – I am actively accepting patrons for my art!)
I don’t really know what that means in the grand scheme of things other than to realize that I am not alone in feeling a lifetime of financial hardship. Never having “enough” money – or rather feeling llike I never have enough money. There is a difference between not having the money and just feeling like you don’t. And I do realize that in many ways I am financially better off than most of the world.
That said, I would like to experience financial security. The kind that allows for healthy college funds for the kids, a nice vacation at the holidays and one over the summer, cars that work well and when they don’t it’s not the end of the world to take it in to get it fixed. The kind of security where property taxes or income taxes don’t wipe out your savings.
Am I asking for too much? Sometimes it feels like I am.
Maybe it would be enough to not operate from an attitude of scarcity. Would simply having an attitude of abundance be enough? Would simply believing there is enough time, enough love, enough money make it feel like there is? Or alter my brain chemistry so I believe there is enough? Or change reality so there is enough? (I am beginning to sound like I am channeling The Secret…)
So that was the gist of Week 6 – the halfway mark on the 12 (+) week journey of The Artist’s Way. I did my morning pages, I did 90% of the tasks/exercises, I had my artist date, and sadly, did not experience any synchronicity. I am still waiting.
May you have a week abundant in synchronicity.