Fearless Writing Day 3: Reflecting On My Bucket List


Got a bucket list full of joy!

After writing yesterday’s post about the bucket list I didn’t think I had until I started writing it down, I felt pretty darn good.

My punch list is essentially filled with time spent with friends, family, and loved ones and the beautiful thing about that is I can do that every day.

Sure, it’s more exciting to take the kids on a road-trip across America, but we can laugh  (or get on each other’s nerves) just as much on an overnight in the City, or on a day trip to Big Sur.


So maybe that is the purpose of life…to find the joy in every day.

Could it be that simple?

Don’t get me wrong, I know how hard that can be at times. I really do. #depression #divorce #illness #bankruptcy #loss #pain

But it can also be – with practice and mindfulness – that simple.

That tangible.

That attainable.

Look at what is on my bucket list – Italy, road trips, Paris, someplace tropical. But the travel is just a bonus. What I really value is my sweetie, my kids, my family,  and friends.

Here’s an example – a couple of weeks ago we went to dinner at a family member’s house. We were talking about the person I mentioned in the last post, the one who was  given 10 days to live.

What would you do, if that was you? we asked each other.

Party, I said.

An open house, open door, 10-day long party.

Good food (charge it!) Great music (disco!) Drop in any time (friends! family! fun!)


Cake every day, flowers, bubbly…who cares if I drink too much, or sleep during the day?

I’d wear my best clothes, and eat what I wanted when I wanted. I’d bust out all my old journals and laugh over the things I worried about and how in so many ways I am the same now as I was when I was 10.

I’d hug my kids and sleep snuggled up with them.

I’d call people I missed and write letters to everyone who meant something to me.

I’d let the dogs on the bed.

I’d give away what was important to someone who would treasure it and think of me when I was gone.

I’d be so happy to see everyone. I’d pay a housekeeper to clean up after me and I would have someone do my makeup with a sexy lined eye and red lips.


I’d speak French, even if no one understood me (#Ialreadydothis).

The point is, all those experiences I aspire to – I can have them.

I don’t have to go to Lake Como, there’s Lake Tahoe.

I don’t have to go to Paris, I can go to the French district in San Francisco. Or Québec. Or the French festival in Sacramento. (#butIreallywanttogotoParis)

Just like my friend who wants to go on a safari, but isn’t sure she could make it. She can go to Safari West just a couple hours away and stay overnight and have an elephant bring her breakfast.

Or the woman I waited tables with, she and her husband planned to go to Hawaii for their anniversary, but something came up, as these things do. A broken car, an illness, taxes…

So her husband set up a beach in their backyard…palm trees, sand, a pool. He made tropical drinks with paper umbrellas, and they listened to Iz and lathered each other up with suntan oil.

Maybe not Kauai, but a sweet memory that will last a lifetime…and beyond.

So I’m saving my money for Paris, Lake Como, the villa, the big apple, and points in between, but I am also mining my day for the true gems – the sweet silence, the funny joke, the unexpected pink roses brought home, the “I love you mom” from my teen as she walks out the door.

That is where my joy is.

That is the meaning in my life.





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